15 August 2015

Dear Spider, please!

Dear Spider,
go somewhere
else to build
your work of 
art.  It is 
splendid; I 
appreciate its
and its beauty
and your
but your art
is in an inconvenient 
place.  You are big 
for a spider, and I
have no idea if
you are venomous 
(though I am likely allergic to you even if you are not), 
but in a contest 
between you 
and my vacuum, 
my vacuum cleaner 
would win.
(Until you crawled out in the middle of the night to wreak spider vengeance on me and then sleep on my nose, so you'll be the first thing I see in the morning, so I can wake up too paralyzed by fear if your venom hasn't already rendered me dead, in which case, the sleeping on my nose would be kind of overkill, don't you think?  Let's be reasonable here, as much as we can.)
But I'm not sure 
it would kill you, 
so there would have to be 
flailing and smashing, 
and neither 
of us would 
enjoy that at all.
Please, for the love 
of God, go 
build your lovely 
web somewhere 
(Seriously.  Even in front of the screen door instead of the door I actually use.  Go now.  Please.)  
I wish you well 
in direct proportion
to your distance 
from me.
Someone Who Wants to Use Her Deck Again Some Day Soon.

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