Cell Phone satire

I didn't notice that the post "Do You Find People Annoyed by Cell Phone Users Annoying?" was labeled "File Under: Satire Seriously" until someone in a comment mentioned that it was so.  I was, however, 99% sure that this rant was in a non-serious, humorous vein by the end of the post itself.  Unfortunately, it seems like some of the commenters never reached that conclusion.  I wanted to give you the heads up, so you can enjoy it in the spirit it was meant to be conveyed.  Also, be sure to read some of those comments from people who feel entitled to use their cell phones in an annoying manner in public.  Unintentionally hilarious.

So funny.  Donald Miller writes as someone who rudely uses a cell phone in public and blames the others around him for being selfish and insensitive for being annoyed at him for these behaviors.  I think we've all met the people who think this way and aren't being sarcastic about it.  Sigh. 

I can't even tell you how infuriating this can be when you work in retail.  There are several satisfying suggestions on how to deal with the situation in Pretending You Care: A Retail Handbook, but recently, I've been able to keep my blood pressure under control by just telling myself they were raised by wolves and have just been reintroduced to society or something.  I try not to think about how they ignore the questions I'm required to ask and thus move me closer to being fired because, obviously, they don't care enough about the people around them to, well, care.

Do you have any enraging or just irritating public cell phone menace stories?

Things not to say to retail employees during the holidays, part 2

Please do not cheerfully call a retail establishment to ask, since you've heard it's going out of business, if there are any final sales.  And if you are a rude enough vulture as to do so, please do not accuse the employee of lying when she tells you that she hasn't been told anything about going out of business and that there are thus no going-out-of-business sales.

Again, I know that if you are reading this blog, you would never do this, but someone did, and it made me sad.  If you know this person or others of her ilk, shun them, please. 

:)

Things not to say to retail employees during the holidays

"It's a shame your store is closing.  It's been all over the news."

Someone said this to me while we were woefully understaffed and had a line that was unconscionably long.  She smiled like a predator, and I did not throw anything at her or burst into tears.

I did not say, "We are aware that we will be the last to know.  This is why we are searching for other jobs.  This is why our turnover rate is ruinous.  This is why we are stressed (one of the reasons anyway), why our smiles are so tight and fake-looking, and we don't need any maliciously cheerful reminders that our jobs hang by a slowly fraying thread, you big jerk of a harassing bully.  Happy holidays, ma'am."

This is a public service message just in case you are tempted to say anything that assinine this coming year if the economy is still unwell.  But I know that no one who reads this blog would ever be that rude.  :)  Thank you for that.

If you've ever worked sales or retail, what ridiculous things have you had to put up with customers saying (and/or what's the best line you never said)?