resisting the impulse to do something
just to be done with something, anything,
not even considering whether it is the right
thing to do or do not, unable to see
the choice to try to be, just be
Showing posts with label attention. Show all posts
Showing posts with label attention. Show all posts
03 February 2018
18 August 2012
The trouble with nature
So. Bugs. Summer. I understand that the poor things don't get to move much for about half of the year, so I understand why they would just want to crawl all over the place when they can, but why do they like crawling all over me so much?
When I can, I bike to a park with my blanket, notebook, and books. I spread out the blanket and plop myself down and immediately become the Most Engrossing Thing Ever to the insects and arachnids in the area. These guys love me. They can't get enough of me. It's kind of crazymaking.
I imagine this is what would happen if I went to a cat show. I am very allergic to cats, and they just love me! I don't make eye contact and, a cat-lover explained that I am mysterious and interesting to them.
Perhaps I need to practice making eye contact with insects and arachnids. Do I have to make contact with all their eyes? That could be . . . difficult.
I just want to enjoy nature, listen to the wind and the birds, read my book, be a sun camel, try not to smell the nearly stagnant river water, avoid getting hit in the head by those kids and their soccer ball, and relax. I want to commune with nature, dagnabbit!
Unfortunately, nature feels the same way. And so we commune: nature walking all over me, me swatting nature or brushing it off without killing it. It is not exactly relaxing, but there is definitely communing. Sigh . . .
Sometimes, when the book is really good, I don't even notice.
When I can, I bike to a park with my blanket, notebook, and books. I spread out the blanket and plop myself down and immediately become the Most Engrossing Thing Ever to the insects and arachnids in the area. These guys love me. They can't get enough of me. It's kind of crazymaking.
I imagine this is what would happen if I went to a cat show. I am very allergic to cats, and they just love me! I don't make eye contact and, a cat-lover explained that I am mysterious and interesting to them.
Perhaps I need to practice making eye contact with insects and arachnids. Do I have to make contact with all their eyes? That could be . . . difficult.
I just want to enjoy nature, listen to the wind and the birds, read my book, be a sun camel, try not to smell the nearly stagnant river water, avoid getting hit in the head by those kids and their soccer ball, and relax. I want to commune with nature, dagnabbit!
Unfortunately, nature feels the same way. And so we commune: nature walking all over me, me swatting nature or brushing it off without killing it. It is not exactly relaxing, but there is definitely communing. Sigh . . .
Sometimes, when the book is really good, I don't even notice.
03 July 2011
being attentive
.
I watched the rainbow as it started to disappear,
but then the kids started yelling, so I turned away,
and when I looked back, it was gone.
Have you ever seen a rainbow disappear all the way
to the bitter end? Maybe rainbows are like fairies
in that Peter Pan play, fueled by belief, killed so easily
by distraction -even a moment- that results in (if not
disbelief) unbelief or something like it; not active
disbelieving but passive not believing not focusing, not
being attentive
.
I watched the rainbow as it started to disappear,
but then the kids started yelling, so I turned away,
and when I looked back, it was gone.
Have you ever seen a rainbow disappear all the way
to the bitter end? Maybe rainbows are like fairies
in that Peter Pan play, fueled by belief, killed so easily
by distraction -even a moment- that results in (if not
disbelief) unbelief or something like it; not active
disbelieving but passive not believing not focusing, not
being attentive
.
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