One of those days

.

when you don't even realize 

you've been wearing 

an article of clothing 

inside out 

until 4:30 pm.

.

Glad THAT week is over

.

I stop at the door 

on the way out and think, "Oh,

I should put on pants."

.

Full lunar eclipse on the winter solstice indeed

I totally freaked out the employees of an optometrist today by crying in front of them.  (I apologize, desk lady, because I know it had nothing to do with you.)  Slightly mortifying, but it's been a long semester.  (At least it washed that goop out of my eyes.)

Last week, I stopped in to check and make sure they would accept the coupon I had, and they said they would extend it for me, and I was so happy.  I read what my insurance people gave me, and I thought I'd read all the fine print on the coupon, but, in the end, I had to pay $75 I didn't really have budgeted when I'd expected to pay $0.  And they charged $10 more per box of contacts than my regular place, so I could only get 3 boxes for what amounts to $75.  I am not making this up.

It's a scam.  I give up.  I can use the $75 to get 6 boxes of contacts next year when I have FSA money, save myself the hassle and the cynicism, and also save myself from finding out my vision has gotten even worse.  (I thought it had stabilized.)  Now I'm so worked up, I don't even trust the eye doctor.  I want to say he was lying about the prescription, too, because he knew when it gets up that high, the contacts cost even more. 

I think I should be avoiding humanity right now.  They don't deserve to have their happy Christmas season screwed up by an adult crying in front of them.

I really need some sleep.  It would also be nice not to be in pain.

In other news, full moon, full lunar eclipse, shortest day of the year.  It can only get brighter from here, right?

Going gray gracefully

Do you ever wonder if the amount of gray/white/silver hair you have is normal? I sure do. Mostly I wonder because everyone my age who has any seems to dye their hair. Even my older sister dyes hers (unconfirmed accusation). I have no idea when she started.

My hair started going back in college, but my mom said it was a genetic gift from her mom. I think she said her mom's hair was all white by the time she turned 30. I was kind of looking forward to that because my excessively oily skin makes my face look younger, and white hair with that face would have been startling. It didn't happen, and I'm okay with that.

I can only think of one person I know who let her hair go gray without hiding it. How sad is that? Dye is so expensive I could never afford it, but even if I could, I'm too cheap to spend money on it. (And then agonize about when my face looks old enough that I need to get my hair dyed gray or risk looking really creepy . . .)

Why do you suppose people get so panicky about gray hair? Are you panicky about it?

How do you feel about going gray naturally? Are you planning on doing it?

P.S. Tonight's moon is a lovely silver Cheshire cat smirk.

Confident Ignorance

I used to pride myself in knowing the right answers.  Then I discovered it was difficult to do so when there are no right answers or when you can't actually figure out the right questions.  It's a good thing I was a bit more mature and flexible by the time I started getting smashed by these truths.

Now, I'm all about asking the questions, especially when I don't know the answers.  I am very comfortable with admitting my ignorance.  I prefer that kind of honesty.  I wouldn't want to lead people astray simply because I don't want to be seen as ignorant, even though as a very finite being, I know I am.  I prefer to question honesty rather than to fight and die for a position about which I am not completely certain.

So I was intrigued by the following quote:

“A theory that is wrong is considered preferable to admitting our ignorance.”
– Elliot Vallenstein, Ph.D.

The author was talking about the prevailing position in medical research/science (and was challenging it, I think).

Any thoughts?  Do you think this idea is beneficial in the area of medical research?  Could any progress be made if the prevailing position was one of open questioning?

Tire pressure and sinus pressure

I have discovered another way I am like my car: sometimes we don't do well when the weather changes. 

Last year when fall and winter fought, and the temperature dropped, a warning light burned bright in my car, and the same thing happened this time.  The pressure in my tires was off, so I went to a gas station and tried to fix it.  I learned several valuable lessons from this experience.

• There is a 75% chance that when I am unscrewing the air valve cap,  I will drop the air valve cap into the tire.
• It is easy to pop part of the hubcap cover off to retrieve the cap.
• It is easy to pop the hubcap cover back on if you know the trick (which does not involve kicking).  (I learned this one after cracking one hubcap cover with the help of a nice guy who was also at the gas station and noticed my cluelessness.  I hold him blameless.)
• You can't tell if any air is actually going into your tire; you just have to believe.
• Even if enough air goes in, you won't know until you drive your car for 15 minutes, according to the nice guy from the tire shop that was, in fact, still open.
• There are nice people who will let you into the tire shop (the nice guy at the gas station pointed you toward) even though it is 5 minutes until closing, and they will stop vacuuming and come outside to check your tire pressure and fill the tire that is still low even though the freezing cold wind is blowing.  And then they will not charge you because you are obviously too pathetic, and, for once, you won't mind.

Chicken

I volunteer at the State Fair every year; volunteers get a free ticket to the fair and a free meal. Our Dining Hall does not serve any "fair food."  There is nothing fried or on a stick.  We sell fruit, salads, and posh deserts like tiramisu and sometimes cheesecakes (and recently something chocolate and peanut butter that was out of this world).  We are famous for ham loaf, and our Swedish meatballs are deadly in a good way.  Pardon my drool. 

I have been volunteering at this booth for years, even after I left the organization that sponsors it, so I have tried nearly everything on the menu.  The one food I was never able to try was the baked chicken.  I can't cut meat off a bone anymore because of my disability, and my family lives a long way away, so they can't cut it for me. 

For some reason, I find it difficult to ask others to cut my food for me.  I can't imagine why it's embarrassing to have to do as a not-quite-30-year-old.  Long story short: it's easier to eat something else, so I usually do.

Today was my lucky day.  My partner at the cash registers (the only job someone as handicapped as me can do) teaches pre-school and has 7 grandchildren.  When I joked about wanting to try the chicken but being unable to eat it, she said, "Well, I'd be happy to cut it for you."

It was sooooo good.  It was worth the laughs I got from certain others.  Many thanks; I couldn't have done it without you, G!  You were an excellent meat cutter. 

Maybe that'll teach me to keep being a chicken.