today I want to believe

today I want to believe
fortune cookie fortunes are true

"You are headed in the right
direction.  Trust your instincts."

but they are so often wrong

My plans for the holiday

My plans for the holiday include
recovery from this cold
     (can you bore a virus to death?)
nothing constructive or practically valuable
reading, anime, manga
no significant interactions with other human beings
rest

Winter Carnivals and other insanities

What do you do when it's below freezing, winter is well underway, and you're going stir-crazy from being inside all the time?  If you live here, you have an outdoor winter carnival with a parade that makes those marching band kids actually appreciate their ancient wool uniforms!  And that parade lasts for more than three hours.  Oh boy!

So my friends who moved here last year took me to this event along with their tiny toddler, and we adults all gained a new appreciation for the joy of hot air balloons.  When they set off those jets, you feel like you're not actually frozen solid.  (Just nearly frozen and very, very stiff.) 

Their child is hilarious, very solemn in strange situations.  Not worried or afraid, merely extremely dispassionately observant.  I have no idea if she had a good time, but I sure got a huge kick out of watching numerous parade participants come over (with candy or necklaces or clown costumes and big, fake smiles) and totally fail to get any kind of reaction out of the child at all.  It's not like she ignored them; she just looked at them and really didn't see the need to get all jolly or anything.  It was still funny after two and a half hours and a couple dozen attempts.  I am so easily amused.

We actually left long before it was over because I guess we all just reached that point where we agreed, "This is ridiculous.  It's a parade that will never end, and we are built for other climes."

I think we still had to wait until the next hot air balloon float came by to thaw us enough to begin walking.

What do you do when winter makes you get cabin fever?

wisdom the crabapple tree passes on to me

.
some days
all you can do is
resist gravity
.


(I promise once I get this resettling thing settled, I'll stop copping out by only posting short pieces of poetry.  Maybe I'll go back to paragraphs.  Or at least longer poems. :)  Until then . . .

In some countries rain during a wedding is considered a blessing

.
Today the outdoor
wedding photographer prays:
cloudy skies, no rain
.

U-turns/Life

The kind of day when
you miss your exit by miles
and then turn around.

giving up haiku

I would settle for
sleep without dreams if only
I could get the sleep.

those worrisome spots out of the corner of your eye

.
tired enough to see
flashes of light and color
then: red-winged blackbird
.

Nostalgia in advance

When you are going to leave a place, do you get nostalgic in advance?  For some reason, I do. 

This, I tell myself, may be the last time I own this view.  I should savor these things now, store them in memory.

Or maybe not.

This may be the last

• spring when the runoff river flows through my parking lot, covering the channel with slimy, slippery mold.  
• winter I spend roasting above the lobby, hearing and feeling the door opening and closing through my bed-attached-to-the-wall all night.
• autumn my sunlight is cut off by the south wing.
• summer I'm separated from my books.

The future is looking brighter, drier, and quieter.  :)

This just in: I'm still scared of drunk people.

.
It's not terror, exactly, just wariness, edginess, an intense desire to escape.  I cover it better now, I think, and I'm okay if I don't actually know the person is drunk, but if I'm somewhere there's drinking, I'm on edge.  I wonder why that is.

It's too bad some of my friends don't know how to socialize without alcohol. 
.

house hunting for novices

.
So, have you ever bought a home?  Any advice/cautions/warnings/tips for me?
.

I'd rather be crooked

If V8 keeps your diet straight, I'd rather be crooked.  That stuff is just nasty.

I feel that I must disclose that I am not unbiased.  I had a tomato soup-related trauma in my youth, and, ever since, I can't stand drinking tomato anything.  I was looked upon as an alien at college because I was the only one who didn't think tomato soup and grilled cheese day (approximately once a week) was the best day ever.  I was able to conquer my distaste of cheese enough to occasionally eat the sandwich, but I felt slightly nauseated even being in the cafeteria with that smell everywhere.

So why am I drinking it?  Eh, there's a kind with a ton of fiber in it, and it's healthy.  (It definitely tastes of Aggressive Healthy yuck.)  And tomato sludge.  And beets.  Did I ever tell you my sad, beet-related food poisoning trauma?  I feel a bit bad for the beets; they had nothing to do with it, really . . .

Anyway, I'd rather be crooked, but I'm drinking it anyway because it's the Right Thing to Do.  Pardon me while I go gargle with mouthwash to banish the foul taste of rightness.

Are there any food-related traumas in your past that you have or haven't overcome as an adult?

body composition and other unexpected nightmares of corporate life

 Having a sedentary job has been an interesting change, and by "interesting" I mean "sometimes horrifying."  It's not that I've gained weight; instead I've had my body composition change drastically.  It's kind of bizarre.  I guess not being on your feet 7 hours a day does slow your metabolism a bit, and mine was slow to begin with.  Getting exercise every day is that much more of a priority, and strength/resistance-training classes are helping me rediscover my core.  Maybe my posture will even improve?  It had better, or I'm going to give myself all kinds of additional back problems when I actually get old.  Ah, it's good to be young . . .

a spring haiku from me to you

.

Spring is in the air.  

Also in my lungs.  Pardon 

me while I cough hack.

.

Flying high

Still a bit dizzy from the release of tension and a slight fever, I nevertheless considered yesterday a success.  I enjoyed the class I half-taught a lot.  Most of the class seemed to, as well.  I've gotten two emails from students who want to discuss it more!  Oh, it would be so fun to do a speculative fiction class at this school.  It would be a huge challenge, don't get me wrong, but the prep for the class was really thought-provoking and didn't ruin the book for me, so I think I could really enjoy putting such a class together.  Some day!

In other news, my plan to save money by not allowing myself to go to any of the Borders stores in my area that are closing  worked!  By the time I finished getting ready for my class and let myself take the time to go, they were all closed but one, and it was the first one I went to.  I'm glad they mentioned that they were the last "closing" store open, or I would have wasted a lot of time and gas money.  If self-control doesn't save the day (or wallet), sometimes laziness does.  :)

a Lullaby

.
It finally rained the other night, 
a long, soaking rain,
and I remember now
why winter is unbearable
sometimes, keeping all
that soothing rain
locked up tight
in the greedy clouds
or making me
jealous
by sending the sound
of rain elsewhere
when I need it here
to help me sleep.
.

Glad THAT week is over

.

I stop at the door 

on the way out and think, "Oh,

I should put on pants."

.

Supermoons and found poetry

A friend sent me this link, and I direct you there for the following line:

"Although a full moon

theoretically lasts

just a moment, 

that moment

is imperceptible to

ordinary observation."

So pay attention when you're watching the moon. :)

Yesterday it felt like spring

That breaking point sort of day
when it's still 30 degrees, but
suddenly you know it's nearly
spring, and you don't want to wear
your hood or your hat, but you still
wear your gloves
just because.

Dead trees in winter

You can always tell which are the dead trees even in winter
like lepers who've lost fingers
trunks and bigger branches
all that remain
standing