Why is this still so
hard? I have about a decade's worth of
my undergraduate college's magazines that it's difficult to throw away. This reluctance makes no sense. It's not as if I am going to read
them. It's not as if someone else needs
them. Recycling them so they can be
something useful like toilet paper seems obviously preferable to having them
lie around gathering dust.
It's just
that it feels so final, like another acknowledgement that I have given up my
dream of teaching there. As if, if I
were to apply again, they would get up to the contract stage and then say,
"Do you have all your alumni magazines?
Did you read them all cover to cover" and then when I said,
"No," they would have to regretfully inform me that since I didn't
keep the magazines and now couldn't read
them all cover to cover, they couldn't hire me.
As if my problems with them theologically and otherwise would even let
me get to that point.
Time to let
go. Maybe a symbolic, purposeful burning
ceremony would be better, but I'm pretty sure my condo association has a rule
against that. To the recycling bin with
ye! May you be made into bicycles for
the poor in other countries or toilet paper or printer paper or something else
people will use. Seriously.
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