14 October 2011

The view in winter

.
from my third floor apartment
the view will be lovely

stark and leafless

branches against
the skies in winter
.



Any comments/suggestions about line breaks?
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2 comments:

  1. Ann ForstieFriday, October 14, 2011 at 10:48:00 AM CDT

    Gorgeous! Great line endings.

    Consider swapping the first two lines, because when I read it, my brain thinks the title is the first line, and then when I get to the third line, I have to backtrack a little.

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  2. The Moon in AutumnSunday, October 16, 2011 at 1:22:00 AM CDT

    Oooh! Good point. Thanks!

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