16 March 2015

this is how I know it is almost spring

This is how I know
it is almost spring
the tree in
the front yard has
dropped nearly all
its berries
held safe
throughout the winter.

01 March 2015

Taking a sick day

It feels like a waste for a weekend day, but I'm really feeling awful, so I am taking a sick day today.  Just as soon as I finish the laundry.  And the dishes.  And the bills. After that, I am going to lie on the couch, propped in a posturally correct position to do one thing: watch foreign DVDs with no English vocal track.  (When I do this, I can't multitask by doing other things while listening to the show.  I have to focus on this one thing.  [Whether I can or not is up for discovery.]) 

I will not
  • obsess about how I should be  cleaning the floors or researching hot water heaters or using the voice recognition software to dictate quotes from books I've read to get those shelves cleaned off. 
  • waste time looking around the internet for information about how to get rid of broken toasters and frying pans. 
  • get bent out of shape that I can't write ALL THE THINGS. 
  • take apart and put back together my tiny Christmas tree (in sad shape after two guests knocked it off its display shelf).
  • read (my elbows, wrists, and hands,  are killing me), and I won't even take notes on what I'm watching. 
  • berate myself for not sorting through files or any of the other cleaning tasks that remain from moving into this space all those months ago.
  • think about how sleep deprived and tired I am and how much I dread going to work and having to interact with people when I feel this unwell (my patience and filters are just gone, and I say things sometimes that I just shouldn't).
  • think about how helpless I feel in the face of this pain and inability to sleep.
  • worry about how much more my back hurts or why it feels like I have bruises all over it.

I will
  • work hard at not curling up into a miserable ball because that will make various things hurt more tomorrow.
  • look out the window at the trees and the sunlight.
  • remember to get up and drink water. 
  • even eat something, if I am feeling less sick. ( I probably should; if this is an allergy/weather change nausea, then getting some food in my stomach to dilute all the snot draining into it is probably a good idea.) 
  • rest as hard as I can. 
  • hope that tomorrow will be better.