15 February 2011

Assault on insomnia: The Sleep Study Edition

Now that I have some serious money available for medical expenses in my FSA, I am ready to try to get rid of my chronic-pain initiated insomnia. In fact, there's no better time because FSA limist will be capped much lower if the health care legislation is still around next year, and I'd rather do this with pre-taxed moolah.

What this means is that I went and had a sleep study done, and it was not very entertaining (for me or the poor techs who have to be at your beck and call all night). A sleep study is where you go to a place and sleep while wired to enough monitors and hardware to guarantee you have sleep problems that night even if you didn't have them coming in. Then you spend the next four days trying to get adhesive off your face and out of your hair.

Kimberly: Um, how, exactly do you get the adhesive out of your hair?
Tech (who has likely seen at least a thousand patients looking like this after a sleep study and thus should not make me feel embarrassed to look like this): Well, that adhesive is designed to dissolve in hot water. A lot of very hot water. I recommend you take a very long, hot shower and use the entire bottle of shampoo we provided. (Leaves, probably not to go snicker about how ridiculous I look with my hair full of adhesive.)
Kimberly: (thinking to herself to avoid thinking about the allergic reaction her skin is having to the electrode adhesive she's been wearing all night) Hey, that's kind of inteteresting. "Love" nowadays is kind of like that. A bond that dissolves in hot water . . . I hope I still remember that after I get out of the shower. I think I could get a poem or a really short, snarky essay out of that . . .

After showering and putting on clothes and getting ready to leave by going to the front desk.

Kimberly: I got most of the adhesive off, but I don't want to scrub my face to destruction. Do you have any adhesive remover?
Nurse: That would be a great idea! No, I don't think we do. Let me go check.
Kimberly: (reading the paper) Ah, the guy who sold me my car is trying to choose where he spends his prison sentence . . .)
Nurse: (coming back) Nope. It doesn't look like we do, but I'll definitely request it because it would be good to have on hand.  (Smiling like a helpful labrador retriever, she hands me a couple packets of something that says "Caution: May cause eye irritation.") We do have nail polish remover.  Um, it's up to you if you want to use it on your face.
Kimberly: . . .

I should get some results back soon.

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