Well, that's a problem, fortune cookie

Listen carefully.
An upcoming important
message may be subtle.

another reason I love autumn

Maybe a reason I love autumn
is because the world around me
starts breaking down, falling,

dragging, breaking apart
before winter comes to
finish the job,  and I

have been breaking
down since I

was 10.

the first maple tree

The first maple tree has ignited
soon the others will bow
to peer pressure and immolate
themselves and cover the sidewalks
in confetti that will grind itself
 away in
the wind
into ashes
and dust
and winter
will come to hide it all away.

the times I am most angry at OWCP are like this

• I'm trying to sing Brahms German Requiem, and my arm hurts insistently and keeps distracting me.  It hurts even worse 30 pages in from the simple act of holding the music and turning each page.  
• I want to help my friend who just had twins get some alone time with her husband, but I can't because holding even tiny babies and changing diapers will cause me agony later, so all I can do is come and help hold the babies while they are still small and sing to them since they don't mind that it is so hard for me to actually learn an entire lullaby anymore.  
• I have a great idea, and the muse is demanding that I sit and write it down right now before it gets bored and goes away, but I can't because my arm hurts, and things are busy at work, and I can't afford to irritate my arm any more, or I won't be able to function at work, and I have to function at work because I need to keep this job, so I can have insurance and because it's hard to find jobs that I am capable of doing anymore.  And so I don't write, and that hurts, too.

spring haiku

cherry trees are like
family you only get
to see once a year

the prayer

Dear God, please
be with my sister
wrap her in Your arms
let her feel Your love for her

oh God please don't let her lose another baby oh please oh please oh please oh please oh please oh please oh please oh please oh please

contrary haiku

when the forecast says
0% chance of rain
I want nothing more

commiseration

the tree in the corner
is rusting away

not turning fall colors
just getting brown-splotched and
ragged around the edges

when I pass it

I sigh in commiseration

Today's beauty

Today's beauty is brought to you
by the blue heron
with the impossible wingspan
that took off from my side
of the channel and cleared
the tree trunk blocking the waterway
in only three wing beats.

my battery is drained

Today's exhaustion is brought to you by the car battery.  Last summer when it kept dying, I took it in, and they said there was nothing wrong with the battery or the alternator.  And then it behaved itself.  Until a couple of weeks ago.  And then today.  When it ceased working 3 times.  Good thing I didn't have to be anywhere until 3.  Since I couldn't get there until 4 . . .  And my groceries are probably spoiled now (though I didn't open them just in case they're okay).  But at least I could get a loaner car today instead of having to get the dumb thing jumped two more times today and then at 6:30 tomorrow morning.

Dear Hyundai,

Your customer service people are quite nice.  Your emergency roadside support people are also quite nice.  My experience with your cars is, well, not.

• Tires that die after less than 4 years (my last car's tires were still going strong at 6+ years).  
• A battery that dies every summer.  
• Maintenance costs I was told would be covered by the warranty that aren't.

I don't think I'll be a repeat customer.  Raaaaaaaaarrrr.

Signed,
Me

Siiiiiighhhhhhh.

an encouragement to kids going back to school

Your dreams are not guaranteed to come true.  You do not have unlimited potential and all that crap.  You have limited time and potential.  But unless you have dreams and pursue them, you will never know if you can make them come true.  So it's better to have dreams and try hard to make them come true than to deny yourself and automatically fail by eliminating even the chance of success.  Probably.  : )

The trouble with nature

So.  Bugs.  Summer.  I understand that the poor things don't get to move much for about half of the year, so I understand why they would just want to crawl all over the place when they can, but why do they like crawling all over me so much? 

When I can, I bike to a park with my blanket, notebook, and books.  I spread out the blanket and plop myself down and immediately become the Most Engrossing Thing Ever to the insects and arachnids in the area.  These guys love me.  They can't get enough of me.  It's kind of crazymaking.

I imagine this is what would happen if I went to a cat show.  I am very allergic to cats, and they just love me!  I don't make eye contact and, a cat-lover explained that I am mysterious and interesting to them. 

Perhaps I need to practice making eye contact with insects and arachnids.  Do I have to make contact with all their eyes?  That could be . . . difficult. 

I just want to enjoy nature, listen to the wind and the birds, read my book, be a sun camel, try not to smell the nearly stagnant river water, avoid getting hit in the head by those kids and their soccer ball, and relax.  I want to commune with nature, dagnabbit! 

Unfortunately, nature feels the same way.  And so we commune: nature walking all over me, me swatting nature or brushing it off without killing it.  It is not exactly relaxing, but there is definitely communing.  Sigh . . . 

Sometimes, when the book is really good, I don't even notice.

I can still smell it

I wonder if the smell of the lilacs still hangs in that yard or if it's only the memory so strong that makes me think it's still there so long after all the flowers bloomed and died.

Why?

Because today is
forty-six seconds shorter
than yesterday was.

eloquent roadkill

roadkill indicates
today is not a good day
to be a turtle

Is this even legal (haiku)

Thirty days have passed.
When will they (ever) finally
run out of fireworks?

young and grey

I am moving much less
like a woman of 60
these days (except for
the left arm, hip, and
lower back), but the silver
is taking over my hair
that much faster.  An 

odd tradeoff, but not 

unwelcome, I suppose.

.

the impossible dream

to OWCP with bitterness

I wake up
in the morning,
and I feel rested. 

I get up
and go
about my day,

and I
am not
in pain.

another chiropractic haiku

What do you say when
your chiropractor asks
if you do stand-up?

.

the view today

one set of windows
shows a sky mostly cloudy

while another shows sun
and blue sky I guess

today I get to choose