Being careful about what you pray for

I've said before that sometimes I think that all my struggles with pain and bureaucracy and all this are my fault because I prayed that God would bring me closer to Him.  He has.  It's been unpleasant in a lot of ways.  Today I randomly opened this book and found the following quote and thought that this man probably thinks I'm in the best place I could possibly be.  I wonder if I am.  It's humbling to think about.

"I don't want my life to be explainable without the Holy Spirit.  I want people to look at my life and know I couldn't be doing this by my own power.  I want to live in such a way that I am desperate for him to come through.  That if he doesn't come through, I'm screwed.  (I probably shouldn't write that word here, but it's how I truly feel about this.)"  - Forgotten God by Francis Chan (142)

It's true that being here is a little exhilarating, but it's also terrifying.  What if my idea of Him coming through isn't His idea of coming through? 

I guess we'll find out.  (Still I will praise Him.)